Everything Bagel: Well Toasted, Hold the Fire!

August 1st.  

A day that will forever stain my year.  A day that still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.  A day that approaches me with anger, frustration, and utter sadness.  A day that I need to brace myself for, because no matter how happy, upbeat, and positive I push myself to strive for each and every one of the 365 days a year, I cannot muster the same for today.  I can never make it through the day, fully, without a good cry.  But hey, I think I'm allowed to check out of my 'strength hotel' at least once a year. 

Ten Years.  10.  Dix.  T.E.N.  There is no desirable way to write out (or should I say type out) the number of years we have been deprived of your beautiful soul.  They say it gets better.  That you heal with time.  Well, it does get better and you do heal, but I think what they fail to mention is that you never get back to 'normal.'  Whatever normal is.  You just simply learn to live with the pain.  But before you go thinking I'm off on a melancholic, depressive rant, I want you to know this: feeling the pain makes it real, and making it real keeps them alive.  If I don't talk about him, if I go about my life as though none of it ever happened, I would be doing him nothing short of a disservice.  I WANT to talk about my Dad.  All the time.  Even though most of you reading have never met him, or had the pleasure of watching him interact with me (and vice versa), I want you to KNOW what our relationship was like.  I believe that this is more for my sake than yours, but that's besides the point.

My Dad LOVED Reba McEntire, absolutely adored her, almost as much as he loved Cher.  His favourite colour was blue; I soon adopted this love after he passed.  He loved pizza.  Oh gosh, and hot dogs.  (He was very consistent and dare I say meticulous about the preparation, cooking, and assembly of said hot dogs).  He loved to dance with Mom and I in the kitchen.  He possessed such a fondness for music.  Whether it be attempting to sing (key word: attempting) or allowing himself to be consumed by the melody as he closed his eyes, arms crossed, resting on the top of his head.  Oftentimes, he pretended to know the lyrics of a song, only to leave us all in awe of his horrible, very out of sync lip dubbing!  And if that wasn't a sight to see, you should have been there to witness his very precise, step-by-step, Tim Horton's order!  Can you imagine how mortifying it was for me to order a coffee - double cream, one and a half sugars - accompanied by an everything bagel "well toasted, hold the fire" ?! Yes, we had to add the "hold the fire" part because he literally wanted the bagel toasted to the brink of setting off the fire alarms.  Having said that, when Tim Horton's used to carry fresh coffee cake, he would split a slice with me, always asking for an extra line of caramel, saving the last piece (adorning most of the caramel sauce) for me.  Now that I look back though, I realize he surely just satisfied his sweet tooth later on at one of the 38 hidden sweet stations he managed to stash throughout the house.  Seriously, Mom found bags of Wine Gums in the oddest of places after he passed.  Caught you, secrets out, Mister!  I could carry on, but I guess this all boils down to one, particular memory that I cherish and carry with me day in and day out: my Dad loved me and I can never forget how it felt to feel his love.  

I still can't quite grasp the concept that I'll never see him again in this life time.  A plethora of changes have occurred in the past 10 years, some I couldn't have even dreamt or imagined at the mere age of 15.  He may not be here to cherish a moment, but I cherish his legacy and who he was each and every day. 

If I can offer any words of advice: talk about them.  Don't be afraid to reminisce.  Tell someone about your loved one.  Be bold and live your life fully for THEM.  

Keeping their fire alight is the one thing you CAN do for every second, moment and memory they cannot physically be present for. 

I miss you and love you more than words can say my sweet angel. 

Until we meet again, 

Your (not so) Little Girl xx 

Nose in a Book.

Hello loves,

Browsing through old photos I took in Canada - with the intent to use them as blogging content, but never got around to (surprise, surprise) - I stumbled upon a handful of shots I took whilst sorting out my university pile *cough hoard collecting centre * in the basement.  I finally binned the old notebooks and papers I would never again need in my life.  Yep.  I still had those.  Every single one - down to my very first lecture EVER in my Shorter Genres class!  I can't believe I know/remember that... what is the matter with me...  I donated a huge tote full of books back to McMaster, figuring they could re-use the books more than any other donation centre ever could, but allowed myself to keep the handful of books/novels that I whole-heartedly enjoyed over the course of my 4 year career as a post-secondary student: 

  
This photo stirs up a mixture of longing, sadness and heartache.... that's the landing right outside of my bedroom... oh how I miss home :( 

If ever I was probed to list my "top 10", the above stack would be an automatic, go-to response:

Maus I and II by Art Spiegelman.

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh. 

Obasan by Joy Kogawa.  

A Small Place by Jamaica Kincaid. 

Kiss of the Fur Queen by Tomson Highway.  

The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall. 

Breakfast on Pluto by Patrick McCabe.

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby.

Maria Chapdelaine by Louis Hémon.

If I close my eyes and think hard enough, I can still envision the various places I sat whilst reading these books... the spaces into which I curled myself up, the nooks and crannies I allowed myself to get lost in; where time stood still and I lost all track of it... Each of the books listed above - but not limited to - were ones that I used in what feels like the hundreds of papers and analytical essays I produced in uni.  Perhaps that is why I love them so - because not only did I read them for the sake of reading, rather, I was forced to dig a little deeper, into meaning beyond the words that simply appeared on the surface at first glance.  Don't they say that should make you loathe a novel?  When you have to pick it apart?  I suppose I'm strange in that regards if such is true, ha-ha.  

Were I to sit here and write a review for each of them, I would be here all day!  If you are interested in any of them, please by all means, message me, and I will get back to you :) I just wanted to throw a handful of titles out there for anyone who may be seeking a good read!

I remember thinking to myself, back in uni, how it always seemed the book lists were ambiguously likeable and appealing; profs were asking us to purchase novels I would never give a second glance to, let alone pick up in my hunt for novels at a bookstore.  And yet, after finishing a book, I always managed to find something to love about it.  I am so grateful for all the doorways my degree has opened for me, in that it allowed me to explore stories, concepts, and ideas I would never have imagined myself liking or thinking of in the first place! 

I must give a shoutout, however, to at least one novel up there: Kiss of the Fur Queen.  I was required to read that book on three separate occasions in Uni., for three separate classes.  Needless to say, I know the story like the back of my hand.  I feel it's one of those books you instantaneously love, or hate.  There is no limbo, or resting space in-between.  Truthfully, I think I enjoy it so much because of my keen interest and liking in any area/novel related to Indigeneity... Knowledge and power, I think, become interchangeable concepts when it comes to the struggle they face, and the ability to surface or bring about change... but that could be a whole other post in and of itself ;) 

I know this post was a bit random, but again, I thought it would be fun to share these titles for those seeking a good read and to stir up some uni memories whilst I'm so far from home!  I know some of my English Lit. pals will have a good laugh at my selection of novels, he-he. 

       

Have a lovely Sunday my sweets.  Relax.  Curl up with a good book ;) and I'll talk to you soon.

Steph xxx

Putting that Passport to Good Use!

Humour me lovelies, and stroll on over to that calendar.  Okay, flip back to last month.... oh wait, no, no, flip it back another page.  Does it say October at the top?  'Cause we're skipping down memory lane so I can take you back, and make up for lost time (er, blog posts)!  One can only begin to fathom how much has happened, and how my life has changed since my last post.  I'm hoping to take you on as much of the journey as I can muster up.  Instead of flip flopping between the now and then(s), I've decided to simply work my way forwards.  This means that we'll start in October and slowly stride into my current affairs... I am itching to share one thing with you though.... 

Although this doesn't do it justice, in fact, blogger has altered the colour contrast on the image, but, I'm a red head!  Ah-ha, I can't help but rock out to Red Hair by Shawn Desmond nowadays! And yes, I got it chopped as well... reminds me of this time last year when I did the first major chop..... ANYWAYS back to Greece. 

So, apart from my travels to, from, and back to the UK this year, Greece was the first REAL vacation I've experienced in 7 years.  Yup... how deprived, eh?  Just kidding, mom!  After a long 8 week term, a nice little getaway sounded perfectly lovely.  And it was!  

The alarm was set to go off at 3AM, and getting to the airport was a breeze.  Can you believe I - yes me - only hauled a carry-on full of clothes for my one week adventure?  Withhold the disbelief, I know!


And despite the fact that it was silly o'clock in the morning upon checking in, I still needed to stock up on my Pret!  :)

You know, I really ought to call up the company and request an instalment here in Colchester.... but that's neither here nor there right now! 


Landing in the nation of feta cheese and baklava, I swiped a map from a kiosk nearby, scouted the bus route we needed to take to the hotel, and directed us to (what I hoped to be) our reliable means of transportation!  Kudos to me, cause I mean, couldn't understand a word of it...it was all Greek to me! ;)   

Happy Steph.... Excited Steph, and the rooftop of our hotel:

I look at the picture now, and it seems so surreal... what a breathtaking view.  It's exactly how I imagined Greece to be.  

Our first night there, we walked the streets of, oh my heavens I just realized, I never told you.... we were in downtown Athens!  :)  We strolled the streets in a leisurely fashion, familiarizing ourselves with the surroundings and trying to remember the street names... can I just say, we had a hoot trying to read the names, and came up with our own variations seeing as we butchered the pronunciation anyways!  Haha.  

   






My beloved coke zero, note the Greek writing ;) 











When in Greece, you HAVE to chow down on GYROS :) mine was a chicken gyro, into which they traditionally put french fries, haha. Yum-yum-yum!

 

Ah, then we stumbled upon this delightful bakery - which, might I add, we frequented every single night!  Whether it be a salad, or scrumptious dessert, I loved every bit of this place (and I'm pretty sure the people working there could tell, as they exchanged knowing glances every time I floated in and out of the store!)

Macaroons!  Oh the sight of them did make me swoon, look how many there were!  

Mmmmm... the beloved baklava ... How can you resist?!

Such concluded our first night in Athens.  Might I add that whilst Tudor was sorting the internet downstairs, I opened our mini fridge, eyed all the lovely chocolates, managed to practically inhale an entire bar, excitedly announce to him that there were hidden gems in the bar fridge only for him to inform me that we would have to pay for them - erm, more like that chocolate bar would be charged to his card. LOL.  I'm such a treasure, I'm telling ya. 


✿ Day One ✿

One of life's many blessings: all you can eat breakfast bars. Our hotel had such a lovely set up - I wish I could still dine in style there some mornings!  The chocolate greek yogurt alone was enough to keep me there.  I had a big bowl full every morning #noshame.  There were an assortment of breads and cakes, fresh bagels, fruits, yogurts and toppings.  They also served various cereals and had a hot section with eggs, sausages, bacon, mushrooms and cream, etc.  A server came round with fresh coffee, and we could help ourselves to unlimited teas and fruit juices.  I was living the dream, baby!  So having lugged my very full stomach out of the breakfast lounge and prepping myself for the day ahead of me - we set off!   

Pictured below: Steph and her big map, putting an unmistakable X on all the places I wanted to venture off to :) .... On the right: ready to go! 

                                  
Walking the streets.... notice the Starbucks ;) hehe

Preserving a local church nearby? 

I bet you're wondering what caught my eye.... 

KITTY!  Now, either she is a closet yoga-guru.... or just a classy lady ;) I'll let you decide... either way, I made a new friend. 

Can I just say, Athens was crawling with cats (literally) everywhere!  Casually just chilling around, yanno.... 

                  

We made a pit stop at the cutest little shop for some gelato!  As I am in a committed relationship with any sort of chocolate that happens to cross my path, I naturally opted for Nutella.  If I could bottle up happiness and sunshine, the bottle would be loaded top to bottom with this glorious bit of heaven on earth.  Honestly, the BEST I have ever had the pleasure of tasting.... do you think they ship ice cream to the UK?  SIGN ME UP! 

Afterwards, Tudor and I ventured a little off the plotted route, and just explored the side streets, not really knowing where we would end up!  We eventually caught up to a gentleman speaking English, and we just looked at each other and said "right, we're following him." LOL.  

Then we found this little nook.... and a photoshoot ensued!

Just round the corner, we stumbled into this graffiti garden wall! :) 

How cute is this?  

Deciding it might be a grand idea to get back on track, we started to head up the hill towards the Parthenon! :) Our trek through the hillside was lovely, we got to stroll through what I call the 'typical' Greek style mountain-side homes. 

At this point, me being me, says "WAIT I NEED A PICTURE HERE" ... Oh Stephanie.... 

A narrow and winding path!  It was single file, or nothing! 

 

Midway, we stopped to take some photos... 

Trekking on up the rest of the way, we finally reached the gates and, huzzah, received free entrance tickets as it was a holiday Monday :) 

And cue the need for photos any time I see anything that looks like it will make a good shot ;) 

Stumbling upon the Theatre of Dionysus, do you know how difficult it was to contain myself from zooming down those (quite steep) flight of stairs simply to stand in the middle of the stage and let my dramatic ways and tendencies get the best of me?  (And, I suppose the onlookers as well LOL). 

Eventually, we conquered that mountain, finding ourselves in front of the temple that was formerly my home (you know, back when I was a Greek Goddess in the days ;) LOL).  

Look how happy I am.... home sweet home ;) 

As grey skies quickly engulfed the skies above, one can only presume that it began to rain!

As a result, we decided to descend and seek shelter - though I did have my umbrella, so at least I was safe.  Tudor had to fend for himself. Haha, just kidding. 

As we weaved through the streets once more, we were flagged down by a host minding the front of his restaurant.  One thing I loved about Greece was the open concept when it came to dining and culinary experiences; tables were scattered in front of itty-bitty restaurants, safely sheltered with some sort of tent, and fully equipped with heaters to boot!  Something intrinsic to European culture, I was so happy to finally acquaint myself with the custom.  Funnily enough, a handful of people presumed Tudor was Greek (he's Romanian, so he does have that European twinkle pumping through his blood!)... so the host starts speaking to us in Greek, thinking he and Tudor are homeboys LOL, and my lovely had to (sadly) let in that he wasn't actually Greek, ergo couldn't understand a word that was being said HAHA.  Darn, imagine all the perks we could have gotten away with ;)  We dined at the restaurant regardless, because I was dying for some food! 

The complimentary starter; toasted garlic bread with olive tapenade. (Between the two of us, neither fancies the likes of an olive...but, I did try the tapenade, cause, you know, when in Greece!  It was okay, but for someone who steers clear of olives - even holding her breath on occasion as she passes the olive bar in grocery stores LOL - it just wasn't for me). 

Always and forever the coke zero life! 

My HUGE plate, definitely couldn't finish it all.  More authentic tzatziki sauce... can't go wrong! 

Thus marks the end of Day 1 in Greece!  Pretty sure Tudor and I were eternally stuffed after this very late lunch.  In which case, I probably ended up getting a salad from my beloved bakery, and he opted for a BLT Sandwich (which, if you know the kid, is nothing new). 

✿ Day Two ✿

The second day began as gloriously as the first: with the divine, all-you-can-eat breakfast affair. Mmmm.  Food devoured, hunger satisfied, time to hit the road again! 

Today, we set out to find Delphi.  At one point, I remember convincing ourselves we were never going to find it... which actually happened at least once or twice every single time we ventured off in search of a specific place/site LOL.  Up and up and up the mountain we went.  Holy Hannah, a lot of Greece was going uphill! 

Halfway through the hike, we paused to snap some photos.  Note: we're now standing directly opposite of Parthenon! 

HI! :)

Living life from the edge, or what?  Glad I didn't fall off :) As the rain greeted us once more, we began to trek down the hill, on the hunt for... yup, FOOD! 

I opted for the Chicken Caesar ... so sinfully good.  Tudor got some sort of all meat pizza, which might I add, was about 75% cheese!?  I think the chefs went a little cheese-happy in the back, holy macaroni.  Ick.  LOL. 

Our evenings were generally accompanied by the bakery and Sherlock Holmes :) ...  Not that we didn't fancy bars/going out, but 6+ hours of walking, fun and exploration sure can make for a dreadfully exhausted gal!  

Until next post, where I'll share the rest of our Greek adventures.... :) 

Steph xxx